Am I too much of an adult?

This question plagued me as I watched my niece and nephew playing in the ocean. Wave after wave crashed over them, yet the giggles never stopped, if anything, they grew louder. Their determination to stay in the water only grew stronger. Meanwhile, when it was my turn to swim, I could barely muster the courage to step in.Was being “too much of an adult” holding me back from enjoying the process? From embracing the small, joyful moments in life?

Amusement park swings

Learning new skills throughout my triathlon journey was non-negotiable. What surprised me was how often I found myself comparing my progress to that of a child. These questions circled in my mind all year:

“How are they riding their bikes so effortlessly?”

“How do my niece and nephew run into the ocean, laughing with their whole bodies, while I stand here frozen with fear?”

“Look at that kid powering up the hill on his bike!”

“Why do children make it all look so easy?”

Frustrated with myself for not learning as quickly as a child might, another question hit me like whiplash:

“When did I become so small-minded, so insecure, and honestly… so afraid?”

When we’re young, we’re constantly told to think like adults, to grow up, mature, be responsible. But what if, in all that growing up, we lost what made us bold, curious, unique, and fearless? Maybe the key to becoming a happier version of ourselves is reconnecting with who we were before the world told us who to be. Before we were told that travelling isn’t a “real” job. Before we learned to fear failure more than we craved fun.

Maybe happiness isn’t found in the destination at all, but in sprinting into the ocean and giggling every time a wave knocks you over.

Maybe it’s in enjoying the slides at a water park.

Maybe it’s in freezing in a pool but refusing to get out because you’re not done playing.

Maybe it’s in falling off your bike and getting back up because you want to learn to ride with no hands.

Maybe it’s in staying present instead of worrying that you’re not progressing fast enough.

Maybe it’s in not taking life so seriously, because sometimes you’re simply living, not overthinking the future.

Maybe the key to finding joy is to not be too adult.

The art of “playing” is often lost in adulthood. Yet it’s in playing that life becomes rich and joyful. What if we treated our challenges like a game; trying new strategies, new routes, new combinations, new approaches to get past the “boss level” and onto the next stage (which, in real life, is simply your next challenge)?

Perhaps it’s time to think like a child again.