Leaning into embarrassment, one wobble at a time.

I fell over my handlebars when I first started riding my bike. I hit the ground headfirst but managed to soften the impact by throwing my hands out in front of me. I was still very new to cycling. I was even riding in my Vans because I didn’t have “clipless” shoes yet. I hit the ground so hard that a mother and her daughter came out of their house to check on me, and a man walked down the road to see if I was badly injured. He even walked with me and my bike to make sure everything was okay.

I remember telling him how embarrassed I felt, how silly it seemed to fall so hard as an adult, how strange it felt to be learning a skill so “late” in life. He told me I shouldn’t feel embarrassed at all, and that it was actually pretty cool that I was willing to try something new as an adult. I think that was the day I slowly started leaning into the embarrassment and pushing forward.

You see, without a little embarrassment, there’s often no growth. Feeling embarrassed usually means you’re doing something unfamiliar; being a little clumsy, a little awkward, a little out of your depth. It shows up when your body hasn’t learned the skill yet, when you feel like a fish out of water in a swimming pool.

I was embarrassed, yes, but that didn’t stop me from trying again and again.

Am I a professional?

No.

But I am better than when I first started.