I withdrew from the race

I pulled out of the Mossel Bay Ironman 70.3 the day before the race.

It feels surreal to think that I signed up for this race at the beginning of the year, got myself a coach, and spent so much money on the equipment I needed, only to decide, one day before, that I wouldn’t be doing it. I trained the entire year and definitely saw progress, but it wasn’t enough to make me feel confident that I could complete the race and do so in a way that felt good.

By race weekend, I had registered, collected my transition bags, bought the Ironman 70.3 merch, and mentally prepared myself to struggle through Sunday and simply finish. Throughout the year I’d faced so many fears: riding a bike on the road with moving cars, open-water swimming in a dam, and, honestly, the fear of not being good enough, fast enough, or fit enough. This year, I confronted them all head-on.

The Saturday before the race, I needed to complete an open-water ocean swim. Up until then, I had only ever swum in a dam. I was nervous. Terrified, actually. If my dad and best friend hadn’t been there, I’m not sure I would have gotten into the water at all.

The plan was simple: swim to the buoy, get comfortable, and maybe swim a bit more. I got into the water and immediately felt overwhelmed. My brother-in-law suggested we make it a little race to distract me and make it more fun. I swam halfway to the buoy, panicked at the sheer unfamiliarity of what I was doing, and turned back. On the second attempt, I pushed toward the buoy again, but it felt like I wasn’t moving at all. Unlike in a pool, there’s no blue line at the bottom to show your progress. The ocean gives you no such reassurance.

I realised I was expending far more energy than planned and that panic was creeping in. I stopped swimming and just bobbed in the water, and in that moment, I knew: I wasn’t ready. Even after almost a year of training, I needed more time, more experience, if I wanted to do this safely. I swam back to shore, spoke to my dad and my best friend, and made the call to withdraw from the race.

It was a tough decision, but I made it with a clear mind. I’m not ashamed to say I wasn’t ready. And I don’t regret signing up either, because without committing to this race, I never would have come this far. I wouldn’t have started swimming or reached new distances; I wouldn’t have surprised myself with longer runs; I wouldn’t have learned how resilient I am after getting back on the bike following fall after fall; I wouldn’t have rebalanced my life, set boundaries, or started believing in myself again. Signing up pushed me to grow in ways I didn’t expect.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that even when things don’t turn out the way you hope, there can still be enormous growth. Progress may be slow, and the setbacks may feel heavy, but they don’t erase the journey. I’m just a girl with almost no fitness background who attempted something completely unfamiliar, and that alone deserves a pat on the back.

I still want to do a triathlon. I still plan to. My approach is just a little different now. I hope to do a few next year. This was a setback, yes, but it’s not the end.